101 Jokes for Boyfriend Dirty: For His Eyes Only

Get ready to laugh and have fun with your boyfriend. You’re about to discover a treasure trove of jokes that are cheeky, playful, and perfect for couples who love to poke fun. These jokes are designed to bring a smile to his face and make your relationship more exciting.

What kind of jokes makes your boyfriend laugh? Do you want to know the secret to making him happy? With these 101 dirty jokes for boyfriend, you’ll find puns and one-liners that are sure to tickle his funny bone and bring you closer together.

Best Puns & Jokes

Puns and jokes can be a great way to add some humor and playfulness to your relationship with your boyfriend. Whether you’re looking to tease him, make him laugh, or simply have some fun, a well-timed pun or joke can be just what you need to bring some joy and lightheartedness into your interactions.

I told my boyfriend he was drawing his eyebrows too high, and he looked surprised, which was exactly the look I was going for.

Why did my boyfriend bring a ladder on our date, because he wanted to take things to the next level, literally.

My boyfriend said I was drawing my eyebrows too high, so I looked surprised, and now he’s the one who’s raised an eyebrow.

What did the beach say when my boyfriend tried to hug it, nothing, it just waved.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, and it’s impossible to put down, which is exactly what my boyfriend says about me.

Why did my boyfriend become a master baker, because he kneaded the dough, and also needed the dough.

My boyfriend told me I was a great baker, and I said it’s because I’ve a lot of dough, and he just laughed and said that’s a pretty flaky compliment.

Why did my boyfriend bring a magnet to the party, because he wanted to attract some attention, and also some metal.

What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta, which is what my boyfriend said I was when I lied about cooking dinner.

I asked my boyfriend why he was bringing a ladder to the party, and he said he heard the drinks were on the house.

Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field, which is more than I can say for my boyfriend’s gardening skills.

My boyfriend said he was going to start a garden, but so far, he’s only grown attached to the idea.

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work, a can’t opener, which is what my boyfriend said I was when I couldn’t open the can of beans.

I told my boyfriend he was a great listener, and he said that’s because he’s all ears, but I think it’s just because he’s not listening at all.

Why did my boyfriend become a great cook, because he added a pinch of love to every dish, and also a dash of salt, and a whole lot of sugar.

My boyfriend said I was a great singer, but I think he was just tone deaf, which is ironic because he’s always saying I’m off-key.

What did the coffee file a police report for, because it got mugged, which is what my boyfriend said happened to him when I stole the last cup of coffee.

Why did my boyfriend bring a compass to the party, because he wanted to navigate the conversation, and also find his way to the bar.

I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a watch on both hands, and he said he wanted to be on time for once, but also wanted to have a second opinion.

My boyfriend said I was a great artist, but I think he was just drawing attention away from his own lack of skill.

Why did the banana go to the doctor, because he wasn’t peeling well, which is what my boyfriend said about me when I’d a bad hair day.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band, which is what my boyfriend said we were when we started a band together.

I told my boyfriend he was a great musician, and he said it’s because he’s always in tune, but I think it’s just because he’s always tuning out.

Why did my boyfriend become a great writer, because he was a wordsmith, and also because he loved to write checks.

My boyfriend said I was a great dancer, but I think he was just trying to step in the right direction.

What did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend for, because he needed space, which is what my boyfriend said when he wanted some alone time.

Why did my boyfriend bring a cake to the party, because he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, which is what he did, and then he’d a stomachache.

I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a shirt with a picture of a cat on it, and he said it was a purr-fect fit, and also because he wanted to be the cat’s meow.

My boyfriend said I was a great comedian, but I think he was just laughing to avoid the punchline.

Why did the computer go to the doctor, because it had a virus, which is what my boyfriend said about me when I got sick.

What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot, which is what my boyfriend said about me when I forgot to wear socks.

I told my boyfriend he was a great driver, and he said it’s because he’s always in the right lane, but I think it’s just because he’s always driving me crazy.

Why did my boyfriend become a great painter, because he was a brush above the rest, and also because he loved to paint the town red.

My boyfriend said I was a great athlete, but I think he was just trying to get a kick out of it.

What did the rabbit say when my boyfriend asked him to go for a run, somebunny’s got to stay behind, which is what I said when he asked me to go for a run.

Why did my boyfriend bring a pillow to the party, because he wanted to have a soft landing, and also because he wanted to be the big cheese.

I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a chicken suit, and he said it was a fowl move, but I think it was just a egg-cellent idea.

My boyfriend said I was a great puzzle solver, but I think he was just trying to piece together a compliment.

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice, which is what my boyfriend said about me when I got tired.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador, which is what my boyfriend said about me when I did a magic trick.

Funny One-Liners & Wordplay

Funny one-liners and wordplay can be a great way to add some humor to your relationship with your boyfriend. Using clever language and witty observations can create laughs and bring you closer together, and here are some jokes about funny one-liners and wordplay:

• I told my boyfriend he was drawing his eyebrows too high, and he looked surprised.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a ladder on his date, because he wanted to take things to the next level.
• What did the beach say when the boyfriend’s towel got stuck, nothing it just waved.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, and my boyfriend can’t put it down.
• Why did the boyfriend’s coffee file a police report, because it got mugged.
• My boyfriend is like a pizza, even when he’s bad, he’s still pretty good.
• What do you call a boyfriend who doesn’t like to cook, a recipe for disaster.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a magnet to the party, because he wanted to attract some attention.
• I asked my boyfriend to change the light bulb, and he said he was too busy, so I just sat there in the dark waiting for him to change.
• Why did the boyfriend go to the doctor, because he was feeling a little horse.
• What did the boyfriend say to the pizza delivery guy, you’re just in time, I’m starving, and so is the pizza.
• My boyfriend is addicted to playing video games, and I’m not sure how to control him, maybe I’ll just have to pause the relationship.
• Why did the boyfriend become a baker, because he kneaded the dough.
• What do you call a boyfriend who’s always making jokes, a comedy of errors.
• Why did the boyfriend go to the gym, to get some egg-cellent abs.
• I told my boyfriend he was going deaf, and he just nodded.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a compass to the party, because he wanted to navigate the conversation.
• What did the boyfriend say when his girlfriend asked him to take out the trash, I’m not doing it, it’s a garbage job.
• Why did the boyfriend become a master baker, because he was great at egg-xceeding expectations.
• My boyfriend is like a dictionary, he’s always defining our relationship.
• Why did the boyfriend go to the beauty parlor, because he wanted a paws-itively gorgeous haircut.
• What did the boyfriend say to the chicken, you’re an egg-cellent dancer.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a pillow onto the plane, so he could have a soft landing.
• I asked my boyfriend why he was bringing a ladder to the party, and he said he heard the drinks were on the house.
• What do you call a boyfriend who’s always disagreeing, a contrarian, because he’s always on the other side of the argument.
• Why did the boyfriend go to the doctor with a piece of broccoli stuck up his nose, because he wasn’t feeling well, and he wanted some kale-ful advice.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a magnet to the doctor, because he wanted to attract some attention to his condition.
• My boyfriend is like a moon, he’s always pulling on my heartstrings.
• What did the boyfriend say when his girlfriend asked him to stop singing, because I’m toning deaf.
• Why did the boyfriend become a musician, because he wanted to be a treble maker.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a cake to the doctor, because he wanted to have his pie and eat it too, and also get a second opinion.
• What did the boyfriend say to the bicycle, you’re just a wheel good time.
• Why did the boyfriend go to the gym to work on his pecks, because he wanted to get a grip.
• My boyfriend is like a tree, he’s always branching out and exploring new things.
• Why did the boyfriend bring a chicken to the doctor, because it had fowl breath.

Top Witty Puns

Puns are a great way to add some humor and wit to a conversation, and when it comes to boyfriends, a well-timed pun can be a great way to bring some laughter and joy to the relationship. Whether you’re looking for a clever quip or a silly joke, there’s a pun out there for every occasion, and here are some examples:

• I told my boyfriend he was drawing his eyebrows too high, and he looked surprised, which was a brow-raising experience for both of us.
• My boyfriend is a baker, and when I asked him to make a cake for my birthday, he said he kneaded the dough, and I said he was just flour-ing me with compliments.
• Why did my boyfriend bring a ladder to the party, because he heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to take things to the next level.
• What did my boyfriend say to me when I asked him to take out the trash, he said he was paws-itive he’d already done it, but I knew he was just lion.
• My boyfriend is a great listener, but when I told him I was reading a book on anti-gravity, he just couldn’t put it down, and I said that’s a pretty heavy subject.
• I asked my boyfriend why he was bringing a magnet to the beach, and he said he wanted to attract some attention, but I think he was just pole-arized.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the doctor because he was feeling a little horse, and I told him to stop horsing around and get some rest.
• Why did my boyfriend become a master baker, because he kneaded the attention, and I said that’s a pretty crumby reason.
• What do you call my boyfriend when he’s at the beach, a shore thing, because he’s always a blast.
• My boyfriend is a great problem solver, but when I asked him to help me with a puzzle, he said he was stumped, and I said that’s a pretty corny problem to have.
• I told my boyfriend he was a great catch, and he said that’s a pretty fishy compliment, but I said he was the reel deal.
• My boyfriend is a great musician, but when I asked him to play a song on the piano, he said he was a little flat, and I said that’s a pretty sharp observation.
• Why did my boyfriend bring a compass to the party, because he wanted to navigate the situation, and I said that’s a pretty magnetic personality.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the gym to get some egg-cellent abs, and I told him to stop cracking himself up.
• I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a watch on both hands, and he said he wanted to be on time for our date, and I said that’s a pretty timely excuse.
• My boyfriend is a great cook, but when I asked him to make some eggs, he said he was having a fowl day, and I said that’s a pretty egg-centric reason.
• What do you call my boyfriend when he’s eating a bowl of cereal, a corny lover, because he’s always a-maize-d.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the doctor because he’d a chicken bone stuck in his throat, and I told him to stop fowl-ing around.
• I told my boyfriend he was a great dancer, and he said that’s a pretty step in the right direction, but I said he was just toe-tally awesome.
• My boyfriend is a great artist, but when I asked him to draw a picture of me, he said he was struggling to find the right shade, and I said that’s a pretty gray area.
• Why did my boyfriend bring a pillow onto the plane, because he wanted to have a soft landing, and I said that’s a pretty down-to-earth reason.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the beauty parlor to get a paws-itively gorgeous haircut, and I told him to stop lion down.
• I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a belt made of watches, and he said he wanted to have a timely fashion sense, and I said that’s a pretty wound-up personality.
• My boyfriend is a great singer, but when I asked him to sing a love song, he said he was a little hoarse, and I said that’s a pretty off-key reason.
• What do you call my boyfriend when he’s at the park, a tree-mendous guy, because he’s always branching out.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the store to buy some dough, and I told him to stop loafing around.
• I told my boyfriend he was a great athlete, and he said that’s a pretty ball-park figure, but I said he was just a home run.
• My boyfriend is a great writer, but when I asked him to write a story about us, he said he was struggling to find the right plot, and I said that’s a pretty novel excuse.
• Why did my boyfriend bring a ladder to the party, because he heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to elevate the situation.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the doctor because he’d a little bug in his system, and I told him to stop bugging me.
• I asked my boyfriend why he was wearing a shirt with a picture of a cat on it, and he said he wanted to purr-suade me to like it, and I said that’s a pretty cat-astrophic fashion sense.
• My boyfriend is a great comedian, but when I asked him to tell a joke, he said he was a little joke-less, and I said that’s a pretty punch-line excuse.
• What do you call my boyfriend when he’s at the gym, a weight-y guy, because he’s always pumping iron.
• My boyfriend said he was going to the store to buy some batteries, and I told him to stop shocking me with his excuses.

Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram

Best jokes and puns for Instagram can add a touch of humor to your posts, making them more engaging and entertaining for your followers. Using humor effectively on Instagram can substantially boost your interaction rates and make your content more shareable.

• I told my boyfriend he was drawing his Instagram selfies like a pro, but honestly, it’s more like a kindergartener on a sugar high.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram is basically a museum dedicated to our relationship, with every moment carefully curated and captioned for the world to see.
• When I asked my boyfriend to post more selfies on Instagram, he said he was camera shy, which is code for “I’m waiting for better lighting”.
• My boyfriend’s idea of an Instagram story is posting a 10-second video of him making a crazy face, and I’m just over here living my best life.
• I love how my boyfriend uses Instagram to post photos of his food, because apparently, his followers are just dying to know what he’d for lunch.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram bio says “husband, dog dad, and occasional adult”, which pretty much sums up his life in 5 words.
• I’ve come to realize that my boyfriend’s Instagram posts are just a cleverly disguised way of asking for validation and likes from his followers.
• When my boyfriend posts a romantic photo of us on Instagram, I know he’s just trying to score some brownie points for his next mistake.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram is filled with photos of his video games, because apparently, his gaming setup is more interesting than our actual relationship.
• I’m starting to think that my boyfriend’s Instagram is just a highlight reel of his life, and I’m the only one who gets to see the blooper reel.
• My boyfriend uses Instagram to post philosophical quotes, but let’s be real, he’s just trying to sound smart in front of his followers.
• I’ve given up trying to understand my boyfriend’s Instagram aesthetic, which seems to be a mix of dark mode, neon lights, and existential crisis.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram stories are like a box of chocolates – you never know what kind of weirdness you’re gonna get.
• I’m not saying my boyfriend is obsessed with Instagram, but he just posted a photo of his socks and got 20 likes in 2 minutes.
• When my boyfriend says he’s “just checking Instagram”, I know he’s actually scrolling through his ex’s posts for the 10th time that day.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram is 90% photos of his car and 10% photos of me, which is pretty much the story of our relationship.
• I love how my boyfriend uses Instagram to document his fitness journey, mainly because it’s just a series of poorly lit gym selfies.
• My boyfriend’s idea of a “funny” Instagram post is making a dad joke and waiting for someone to laugh, but really, it’s just crickets.
• I’ve come to realize that my boyfriend’s Instagram posts are just a clever way of saying “look at me, I’m interesting and fun”, but really, he’s just eating cereal for dinner.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram bio says “_destroys relationships one selfie at a time_”, which is just a bit too on the nose.
• My boyfriend uses Instagram to post photos of his “epic” gaming sessions, but really, he’s just playing Minecraft for the 12th hour straight.
• When my boyfriend posts a photo of his breakfast on Instagram, I know he’s just trying to make me feel guilty for not cooking it for him.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram is basically a shrine to his love of pizza, with every third post being a photo of a different pie.
• I’m starting to think that my boyfriend’s Instagram is just a social experiment to see how many likes he can get for posting complete nonsense.
• My boyfriend’s idea of an “artsy” Instagram post is taking a photo of a sunset and using the “X-Pro II” filter, because originality is overrated.
• I’ve given up trying to keep up with my boyfriend’s Instagram stories, mainly because they’re just a never-ending stream of weird memes and animal videos.
• My boyfriend uses Instagram to post photos of his “adventures”, but really, he’s just going to the same hiking trail every weekend and pretending it’s exciting.
• When my boyfriend says he’s “just posting this for the memories”, I know he’s really just trying to get likes and validation from his followers.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram is filled with photos of his favorite sports team, mainly because he’s just trying to fit in with the cool kids.
• I love how my boyfriend uses Instagram to document his travels, mainly because it’s just a series of blurry photos taken from the back of a bus.
• My boyfriend’s idea of a “deep” Instagram post is sharing a quote from a random philosopher and pretending he understands what it means.
• I’m starting to think that my boyfriend’s Instagram is just a way for him to procrastinate and avoid doing actual work, but hey, at least he’s entertaining.
• My boyfriend uses Instagram to post photos of his “favorite” books, but really, he’s just trying to impress his followers with his pseudo-intellectualism.
• When my boyfriend posts a photo of himself “working from home”, I know he’s really just playing video games in his pajamas.
• My boyfriend’s Instagram bio says “_currently pretending to be a functioning adult_”, which is just a bit too relatable.
• My boyfriend’s idea of a “fun” Instagram post is making a joke about our relationship and waiting for someone to laugh, but really, it’s just me rolling my eyes.
• I’ve come to realize that my boyfriend’s Instagram posts are just a way for him to express himself and showcase his personality, but really, it’s just a bunch of random nonsense.
• My boyfriend uses Instagram to post photos of his “creative” projects, mainly because he’s just trying to show off his mediocre art skills.
• When my boyfriend says he’s “just posting this for fun”, I know he’s really just trying to get attention and likes from his followers.

Conclusion

You’ll laugh, tease, and flirt with these dirty jokes for your boyfriend. They’re cheeky, playful, and perfect for couples who love to poke fun at each other. Share them on Instagram or save them for a surprise. Either way, they’ll bring humor and excitement to your relationship, making you both giggle and blush.