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88 Puns for Number 5: Give Me Five Fun

By: Richard J. Gross
Updated On: April 5, 2025

Get ready for a fun countdown with 88 puns for the number 5. This number is special and deserves some attention. It’s time to laugh and have some fun with number 5.

Number 5 is just the beginning of a jokes adventure. What’s next is even more exciting, so stay tuned to find out. You will surely have a great time reading these puns!

Best Puns & Jokes

The world of puns is a diverse and ever-expanding domain, with jokes about numbers being a particularly fascinating subset. Number 5, in particular, offers a unique opportunity for clever wordplay and humorous associations, as evidenced by the following collection of jokes.

The number 5 walked into a bar because it was a prime spot to grab a drink, and the bartender said the drinks were on the house if you could count to five without stopping.

Why did the number 5 go to therapy, it had a lot of hang-ups about being odd, but the therapist just told it to add 1 to its problems and call it even.

What did the number 5 say to the number 6, you’re always one more than me, but the number 6 just laughed and said it was a small difference.

The reason the clock struck 5 was because it was a timely reminder to get to work, and those who were late would be wound up about it.

In a motorcycle club, the member known as Number 5 was the wheel deal, always taking his friends for a spin and never losing his grip on the road.

The number 5 was kicked out of school for using a compass, the teacher said it was an unfair advantage, but the number 5 argued it was just trying to get to the point.

Why did the number 5 join a band, it wanted to be the fifth beat, and now the band’s rhythm was unquestionably improved.

The number 5 went to the doctor and said it had a bad case of the fives, but after a series of tests, the doctor said it was just a numerical disorder and prescribed some prime therapy.

At the number 5’s birthday party, the cake had five candles, but when they were blown out, the number 5 exclaimed it was a blown opportunity to make a wish.

The number 5 went to a restaurant and ordered a pizza with five toppings, but when it got the bill, it realized it had been taken for a slice.

What did the calculator say to the number 5, you’re always so calculative, but the number 5 said it was just trying to add some value to the conversation.

The number 5 decided to become a secret agent with the codename Quint, because it was the fifth member to join the team and its skills were a perfect fit for the mission.

In a world of words, the number 5 was the fifth element, the missing link that tied everything together and made the story whole.

Why did the number 5 become a baker, it kneaded the dough and always rose to the occasion, producing the most fantastic pastries in town.

The number 5 was a master of disguise, it could change its appearance to blend in seamlessly with any group, making it a prime candidate for undercover work.

What do you call the number 5 when it’s feeling sad, a blue five, and its friends would always try to cheer it up by counting its blessings.

The number 5 loved to play hide and seek, but it was always easy to find because it would give away its position by counting out loud, one, two, three, four, five.

The reason the number 5 made a great detective was that it could count on its instincts and always add up the clues correctly to solve the mystery.

Why did the number 5 go to the gym, to get some core strength and improve its five senses, now it’s a well-rounded individual with a fit body and mind.

The number 5’s favorite game was Bingo, because it loved the thrill of waiting for its number to be called, and when it was, it would jump up and shout with glee.

What did the number 5 say when it ran into its ex, you’ve changed, you’re not the same number I used to know, but the ex just shrugged and said that’s just the way the numbers crumble.

The number 5 started a band with four of its friends, and they called themselves the Fab Five, playing sold-out concerts and living the dream.

Why did the number 5 become a teacher, it was great at adding value to its students’ lives and helping them count their blessings.

The number 5 went on a diet because it wanted to lose some weight and be a smaller number, but it ended up gaining a few pounds and becoming a bigger five.

What do you call the number 5 when it’s angry, furious-five, and it’s best to steer clear of it until it cools down and becomes its usual self again.

The number 5 loved to play chess, it was always a few moves ahead and could count on its strategic thinking to checkmate its opponents.

The reason the number 5 was good at sports was that it had a natural rhythm and could always count on its timing to score the winning point.

Why did the number 5 go to the beauty parlor, it wanted a new look and a fresh countenance, and after the makeover, it felt like a brand new number.

The number 5 joined a book club because it loved to read and count the number of pages it had turned, and it always had insightful comments to add to the discussion.

What did the number 5 say to the number 10, you’re always so full of yourself, but the number 10 just replied that it had a lot to offer and was twice as nice.

The number 5 became a stand-up comedian, it was great at counting down the seconds until the punchline and always left the audience in stitches.

The reason the number 5 loved gardening was that it could sow seeds and count the number of blossoms, nurturing life and watching things grow.

Why did the number 5 join a poetry club, it loved the rhythm and meter of words, and its poems always counted for something special.

The number 5 decided to become a scientist, it was great at counting data and coming up with new formulas, making groundbreaking discoveries and advancing human knowledge.

What did the number 5 say when it got lost, I’m having a little trouble counting on my sense of direction, but it eventually found its way and was back on track.

The number 5 loved to dance, it could count the beat and move its body in perfect rhythm, always getting compliments on its slick moves.

The reason the number 5 was a great mediator was that

Funny One-Liners & Wordplay

Puns are a form of wordplay that can add humor and creativity to language, often by exploiting multiple meanings of a term, or sounds similar to other words.

The use of puns in one-liners and wordplay can create clever and amusing jokes that play on the expectations of the listener.

  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, and she looked surprised, which was a brow-raising experience for both of us.
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms, because they make up everything, and it’s a bond that’s hard to break.
  • Why don’t eggs tell jokes, they’d crack each other up, and that would be a fowl mouth.
  • What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta, and it’s a saucy little lie.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field, and it was a-maize-ing.
  • Why don’t lobsters share, because they’re shellfish, and it’s a claw-ful trait.
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work, a can’t opener, and it’s a real tin foil hat.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down, and it’s a weighty issue.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over, because it was two-tired, and it needed a brake from the world.
  • Why did the baker go to the bank, he needed dough, and it was a loafing good time.
  • Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he’s a fun-gi, and he’s a spore-adic dancer.
  • Why did the pencil break up with the eraser, it was a sharp move, and it was a drawn-out process.
  • What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band, and they’re udderly talented.
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn’t peeling well, and it was a fruit-less effort.
  • Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend, because he needed space, and it was a star-crossed love.
  • What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot, and it’s a grizzly situation.
  • Why did the computer go to the doctor, it had a virus, and it was a byte-sized problem.
  • Why did the kid bring a ladder to school, he wanted to reach his full potential, and it was a step in the right direction.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh, and it’s a reel problem.
  • Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice, and it was a fruit-ful decision.
  • Why did the kid become a baker, because he kneaded the dough, and it was a loafing good career.
  • What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador, and it’s a paws-itive illusion.
  • Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, he’d hare-loss, and it was a fur-bulous problem.
  • Why did the hipster burn his tongue, he drank his coffee before it was cool, and it was a latte trouble.
  • What do you call a cat that’s a good listener, a purr-fect listener, and it’s a claw-some therapist.
  • Why did the elephant quit the circus, because he was tired of working for peanuts, and it was a tusk-tastic decision.
  • Why did the math book look so sad, because it had too many problems, and it was a formula for disaster.
  • What do you call a fish that’s an excellent listener, a reel listener, and it’s a fin-tastic counselor.
  • Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick, and it was a fowl-some performance.
  • Why did the potato go to the party, because he was a spud-tacular dancer, and it was a mash-up of fun.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef, and it’s a beef-y problem.
  • Why did the kid bring a magnet to school, he wanted to attract attention, and it was a polarizing move.
  • Why did the chicken go to the gym, to get some egg-cellent abs, and it was a fowl-some workout.
  • What do you call a dog that’s a great singer, a howl-lywood star, and it’s a paws-itive melody.
  • Why did the egg go to therapy, it was cracking under the pressure, and it was a yolk-ing matter.
  • Why did the cat take a selfie, to capture its paws-itive side, and it was a claw-some photo.
  • What do you call a group of chickens playing instruments, a fowl orchestra, and they’re egg-cellent musicians.
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn’t peeling well, and it was a fruit-less effort.
  • Why did the computer screen go to the doctor, it had a pixel-ated vision, and it was a byte-sized problem.
  • What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador, and it’s a paws-itive illusion.

Top Witty Puns

Puns have been a staple of comedic writing for centuries, providing a clever way to play with language and create humor. The art of crafting witty puns, particularly those related to numbers, can lead to some truly amusing and clever jokes, as seen in the following list of top witty puns about the number 5:

  • The number 5 walked into a bar because it was a prime example of a good time.
  • Why did the number 5 go to therapy, because it was feeling a little off-center.
  • The number 5 is a great athlete, it’s always a perfect score.
  • What did the number 5 say when it ran into its ex, “you’ve changed, you’re no longer my prime concern”.
  • In a group of numbers, 5 was always the most hand-y.
  • The number 5 went to the doctor, it had a little digit-al problem.
  • The number 5 is a great poet, it’s always in a pentameter mood.
  • Why did the number 5 go to the gym, to get some core strength.
  • What did the number 5 say when it got lost, “I’m having a little mid-life crisis”.
  • The number 5 is a great dancer, it’s always doing the pentagram swing.
  • Why did the number 5 become a detective, it was great at solving digit-al mysteries.
  • The number 5 went on a date, it was looking for its perfect prime match.
  • What do you call the number 5 when it’s sleeping, a digit in dreamland.
  • The number 5 became a musician, it was great at hitting the high five note.
  • Why did the number 5 go to the beauty parlor, it wanted a penta-highlight.
  • The number 5 is a great swimmer, it’s always making a splash with its five strokes.
  • What did the number 5 say when it got tired, “I’m all out of digits”.
  • The number 5 went to the art museum, it loved the penta-gonal paintings.
  • Why did the number 5 become a chef, it was great at cooking up a five-course meal.
  • The number 5 is a great singer, it’s always hitting the high five note in harmony.
  • What do you call the number 5 when it’s happy, a digit in delight.
  • The number 5 became a scientist, it was great at conducting five-factor experiments.
  • Why did the number 5 go to the park, to get a little fresh air exercise its digits.
  • The number 5 is a great magician, it’s always making things disappear with its five-finger trick.
  • What did the number 5 say when it got excited, “I’m on top of the world, or at least the top five”.
  • The number 5 went to the library, it loved reading about penta-gonal geometry.
  • Why did the number 5 become a lawyer, it was great at arguing five-point cases.
  • The number 5 is a great adventurer, it’s always going on a five-part quest.
  • What do you call the number 5 when it’s sad, a digit in distress.
  • The number 5 became a teacher, it was great at explaining five-paragraph essays.
  • Why did the number 5 go to the beach, to get a little sun and work on its tan lines, it had five to be exact.
  • The number 5 is a great comedian, it’s always making jokes about being a prime example of humor.
  • What did the number 5 say when it got angry, “I’m fed up with being treated like a second-rate digit”.
  • The number 5 went to the amusement park, it loved riding the five-loop rollercoaster.

Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram

Best jokes and puns for Instagram are a great way to make your followers laugh and increase engagement on your posts. Crafting funny and relatable content can be challenging, but with the right approach, you can create hilarious jokes that will make your audience love your page.

  • Instagram is like a relationship, it’s all fun and games until you start posting too many pictures of your cat, then it gets real.
  • When you finally post a selfie after 10 minutes of editing, but you still look like you just rolled out of bed, that’s what I call a filter failure.
  • Why did the Instagram influencer bring a ladder to the party, because they wanted to take their followers to the next level.
  • I told my wife she was drawing her Instagram stories too literally, now she’s just posting stick figures of our arguments.
  • What did the Instagram post say to the like button, you’re always so supportive.
  • Why do Instagram models always pose in front of luxury cars, because they want to shift their audience’s attention to their wealth.
  • If you’re feeling sad, just remember that your Instagram posts are making someone, somewhere, feel worse about their life.
  • What do you call an Instagram user who doesn’t post for a week, a myth.
  • I’m reading a book on anti-Instagram habits, but I’m having trouble posting about it.
  • Why did the Instagram user’s phone go to therapy, it had a lot of hang-ups and a bad connection.
  • When you post a picture of your food, but you’re really just showing off your plate, that’s what I call a saucy move.
  • What do you call a group of cows on Instagram, a moo-ving experience.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award on Instagram, because he was outstanding in his field of selfies.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why my Instagram post is right, and you’re wrong.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over on Instagram, because it was two-tired of all the drama.
  • What did the ocean say to the Instagram user, nothing, it just waved.
  • Why did the baker go to the bank on Instagram, he needed dough to post more pictures of his bread.
  • If you’re not posting about it on Instagram, did it even happen, that’s the real question.
  • Why did the mushroom go to the party on Instagram, because he was a fun-gi and wanted to grow his followers.
  • What do you call a dog on Instagram, a paws-itive influencer.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just on Instagram time, which is like island time, but with more likes.
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor on Instagram, because it wasn’t peeling well and needed some a-peel.
  • What did the cat say when it woke up from a nap on Instagram, I’m paws-itive I’d more followers before I fell asleep.
  • Why did the computer go to the doctor on Instagram, it had a virus and needed an update on its status.
  • If you’re feeling stressed, just remember that your Instagram posts are making someone, somewhere, feel more anxious about their life.
  • What do you call a bear on Instagram, a grizzly influencer with a lot of paws-itive reviews.
  • Why did the chicken go to the gym on Instagram, to get some egg-cellent abs and a fowl-proof body.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why my Instagram post is better than yours, and that’s a fact.
  • Why did the rabbit go to the doctor on Instagram, because it had hare-loss and needed a paws-itive diagnosis.
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on Instagram, nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  • Why did the kid bring a magnet to school on Instagram, he wanted to attract some attention and get more likes.
  • If you’re not posting about your vacation on Instagram, are you even really on vacation, that’s the question.
  • What do you call a fish on Instagram, a reel-y good influencer with a lot of sea-rious followers.
  • Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road on Instagram, because it ran out of juice and needed a recharge.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for more important things, like scrolling through Instagram.
  • Why did the turkey join the band on Instagram, because he was a drumstick and wanted to get more followers by fowl-ing the beat.
  • What did the coffee file a police report on Instagram, because it got mugged and needed a latte justice.
  • Why did the photographer break up with his girlfriend on Instagram, because she was always developing a bad attitude and needed to focus on their relationship.

Conclusion

You’ve made it to the end, give yourself five! These puns are a prime example of humor, and you’re now a master of number 5 jokes. You’ll be counting to five in no time, coming up with witty one-liners and wordplay that’s sure to impress. Your friends will be odd-ly impressed, and your Instagram posts will be a sold-out success!

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Richard J. Gross

Hi, my name is Richard J. Gross and I’m a full-time Airbus pilot and commercial drone business owner. I got into drones in 2015 when I started doing aerial photography for real estate companies. I had no idea what I was getting into at the time, but it turns out that police were called on me shortly after I started flying. They didn’t like me flying my drone near people, so they asked me to come train their officers on the rules and regulations for drones. After that, I decided to start my own drone business and teach others about the safe and responsible use of drones.

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