73+ Clever Drinks Puns to Quench Your Thirst

Are you ready for a laugh? We've got a big collection of funny drink jokes, called puns. You'll find jokes about coffee, tea, and even special drinks you have at parties.

These puns are super funny and will make you smile. We have 73 of them, so you'll have a lot to choose from. Get ready to have fun and find your favorite drink joke!

Best Puns & Jokes

Drinks puns are a great way to add some humor to any gathering or conversation.

From clever wordplay to witty one-liners, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone's face, so here are some of the best puns and jokes about drinks:

• Why did the coffee file a police report, because it got mugged and was feeling a little jittery.
• The bartender was upset when a customer walked out on their tab, but they just couldn't brew up the courage to confront them.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on, nothing it just let out a little wine.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice and needed a drink.
• The tea bag was feeling anxious, so it went to therapy to get to the root of its steeped emotions.
• What do you call a beer that's asleep, a brew-tiful dream.
• Why did the drink go to therapy, because it was feeling a little flat and wanted to work through some bottled-up emotions.
• Why did the lemon quit his job, because it was feeling sour about the working conditions and wanted a drink to calm down.
• What did the coffee say to the coffee maker, you're always brewing up trouble and making me feel jittery.
• Why did the bartender refuse to serve the rooster, because it was a little too flocky and he didn't want any egg-related drinks.
• The margarita was feeling a little down, so it went to the doctor and got a salt-free prescription to help it feel more refreshed.
• What do you call a group of cats drinking coffee, a mew-cha latte and a purr-fect way to start the day.
• Why did the smoothie go to the doctor, because it was feeling a little blended and had a fruit-ful conversation.
• Why did the milk go to the doctor, because it had a fowl cough and needed some udderly ridiculous medicine.
• Why did the beer go to the party, because it was a hoppy occasion and everyone was brewing up a good time.
• What did the drink say when it ran into its ex, you're just a sip of the past and I'm trying to bottle up my emotions.
• Why did the coffee file a lawsuit, because it got burned by a hot deal and felt roasted.
• Why did the bartender become a baker, because he kneaded the dough and wanted to make some bread to go with his drinks.
• The drink was feeling lonely, so it went to the bar and met a wine-derful companion to share a drink with.
• Why did the juice box go to therapy, because it was feeling boxed in and wanted to squeeze out some emotions.
• Why did the water go to the party, because it was a fluid occasion and everyone was having a splash.
• What do you call a bear that drinks coffee, a grizzly brew and a bit of a latte trouble.
• Why did the drink go to the gym, because it wanted to get a little stronger and pump up the volume.
• Why did the bartender go to the doctor, because he was feeling a little mixed up and had a few too many drinks.
• What did the drink say when it got old, I'm just a shell of my former bottle and feeling a bit flat.
• Why did the drink go to the beauty parlor, because it wanted a new brew-tiful look and a splash of color.
• Why did the coffee machine go to therapy, because it was feeling a little Pressed and wanted to perk up its emotions.
• What do you call a dog that drinks beer, a brew-haha and a paws-itive good time.
• Why did the drink go to the art museum, because it wanted to see the bottle-ic masterpieces and appreciate the art of wine.
• Why did the bartender go to the bank, because he needed to make a withdrawal and cash in on his drinks.
• The drink was feeling sad, so it went to the comedy club and had a whiskey good time laughing and joking.
• Why did the drink go to the dance club, because it wanted to get a little mixed up and have a grape time dancing.
• What did the drink say when it got tired, I'm just a sip away from a nap and need to bottle up my energy.
• Why did the drink go to the park, because it wanted to get a little fresh air and have a brew-tiful day outdoors.
• Why did the bartender become a scientist, because he wanted to experiment with new drinks and mix up some chemistry.

Funny One-Liners & Wordplay

Drinks are the perfect accompaniment to any social gathering, and when paired with witty one-liners, they can make for an unforgettable night. The art of crafting clever jokes about drinks involves a deep understanding of wordplay, situational irony, and unexpected associations, which can elevate a simple joke into a comedic masterpiece.

I told my wife she was drawing her whiskey, and she said I was just trying to spirits her away from the conversation.

When I asked the bartender for a beer, he said it was on the house, which I guess is why he threw it at me.

Why did the coffee file a police report, because it got mugged and was feeling a little jittery about the whole situation.

The bartender is always mixing drinks, but his relationships are always on the rocks, which is pretty ironic.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on, nothing it just let out a little wine and continued to make the best of a bad situation.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, and it's impossible to put down, much like a cold beer on a hot summer day.

Why did the scuba diver go to the party, because he heard it was an underwater bash with drinks on the house.

The coffee shop owner was always worried about being robbed, so he hired a latte security, which seemed like a pretty buzzworthy investment.

What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta, which is what I felt like after drinking too much and eating a whole pizza by myself.

The man walked into a library and asked the librarian, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat?", and she replied, "It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not, can I pour you a cup of coffee while you look?"

Why did the baker go to the bank, he needed dough, and afterwards he went to the bar to celebrate with a drink.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he's a fun-gi, and he always brings a bottle of wine to share.

I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person, I'm a when-the-coffee-kicks-in person, which is usually after my second cup.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work, a can't opener, which is what I felt like when I tried to open a beer with my teeth.

Why did the computer go to the doctor, it had a virus, and afterwards the doctor prescribed it a stiff drink to relax.

The cat joined a band because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist, and during breaks they'd all have a drink together.

Why did the banana go to the doctor, because he wasn't peeling well, and the doctor told him to drink plenty of fluids.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band, and their favorite drink is milkshakes.

I went to a restaurant and the sign said, "Breakfast Anytime", so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance, and a cup of coffee to go with it.

Why did the tomato turn red, because it saw the salad dressing, and it was so shocked that it needed a drink to calm down.

Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, to get some hare care, and the doctor prescribed him a drink to help him relax.

What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot, and it loves to drink honey tea.

The man walked into a bar and ordered a beer, and as he sipped his drink, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie!", and he looked around, but there was nobody nearby who could have said it.

Why did the chicken cross the playground, to get to the other slide, and afterwards it had a drink to celebrate.

Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick, and his favorite drink was cranberry juice.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador, and it loves to drink from a magic cup.

The mouse brought a ball of cheese to the party, because he wanted to have a gouda time, and he paired it with a fine wine.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school, he wanted to reach his full potential, and then he'd a drink to celebrate his achievement.

The kid put his homework in the blender, because he wanted to mix things up a bit, and then he'd a drink to calm down.

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice, and it needed a drink to recharge.

What do you call a kid who doesn't like to eat, a posh-itive thinker, and he only drinks fancy cocktails.

Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field, and he celebrated with a drink.

The economist was always going on about the benjamins, but I think he was just trying to make a buck, and he spent it all on drinks.

The guy had a million-dollar idea, but it only cost him 50 bucks to make, and he spent the rest on drinks to celebrate.

What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh, and it loves to drink seawater.

Why did the computer screen go to the doctor, because it had a little glitch, and the doctor prescribed it a drink to relax.

Why did the pencil break up with the eraser, because it was a sharp move, and the pencil needed a drink to get over it.

The reason I'm so good at hockey is because I've a lot of puck, and I always have a drink after the game to unwind.

Why did the kid become a baker, because he loved to loaf around, and he always had a drink with his pastries.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist, and then I'd a drink to clear my head.

Why did the bird go to the doctor, because it had a fowl cough, and the doctor prescribed it a drink to soothe its throat.

What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef, and it loves to drink milkshakes.

The mushroom got invited to all the parties because he's a fun-gi, and he

Top Witty Puns

The world of drinks puns is a witty and clever domain that combines wordplay with a love for beverages.

From coffee to cocktails, the possibilities for puns are endless and can add a splash of humor to anyone's day, as seen in the following jokes:

• I told my wife she was drawing her whiskey glass too wide, and she said I was just trying to spirits her away from her art.
• Why did the bartender refuse to serve the rooster, because he was a little too cocky and always ordering fowl drinks.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on, nothing it just let out a little wine.
• The coffee file a police report because it got mugged and was feeling a little jittery.
• Why did the tea bag go to therapy, because it was feeling steeped in anxiety and needed to unwind.
• What do you call a beer that's sleeping, a brew-tiful dreamer with a lot of hops to overcome.
• The lemonade stand owner was in a sour mood because he wasn't making enough juice from his business.
• Why did the cocktail go to the doctor, it was feeling a little mixed up and had a bad case of the shakes.
• What did the orange juice say to the vodka, let's get blended and make a great Screwdriver.
• The bartender is a great listener, every time you pour your heart out to him, he says it's on the house and fills your glass again.
• I tried to start a career as a professional wine taster, but it was a grape disappointment and I couldn't bottle up my emotions.
• Why was the coffee in a good mood, because it was always buzzing with excitement and had a latte energy.
• What do you call a group of cats playing instruments in a bar, a mew-sical band with a purr-cussionist who loves cat-nip cocktails.
• Why did the bartender give the patron a bottle of hot sauce, because he wanted to spice up his drink and add a little kick to his night.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice and was feeling a little sour about its situation.
• The milkshake was depressed, it was feeling a little mixed up and was having trouble blending in with the crowd.
• What do you call a dog that does magic tricks in a bar, a labracadabrador with a paws-itive knack for making drinks disappear.
• Why did the apple join the gym, to get some core strength and make a fruit-ful smoothie afterwards.
• Why was the beer bottle in a bad mood, it was feeling flat and wasn't bouncing back from its last fall.
• What did the beach say to the beer can, you're always popping up and making a mess with your sea-rious drinking habits.
• The coffee and the donut went to therapy together, because they were having a flaky relationship and needed to work through some crusty issues.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn't peeling well and had a fruitless appointment ahead of him.
• Why did the bartender take a lemon to the doctor, because it was feeling sour and he wanted to get to the root of the problem.
• What do you call a bar that serves only chicken wings, a fowl play on words with a poultry in motion menu.
• Why was the wine in a bad mood, because it was having a crush and was feeling pressed for time to find a perfect blend.
• The bartender said to the drink, you're on the rocks and I'm shaking things up around here to get the party started.
• What did the drink say to the ice cube, you're always so cool under pressure and I'm just melting away in your presence.
• Why did the coffee become a musician, because it was always buzzing with energy and had a latte rhythm to share with the world.
• The bartender was a magician, every time you ordered a drink he made it disappear and then reappear with a smile and a wink.
• What did the drink say when it got old, I'm just a shell of my former bottle and I'm feeling a little flat and outdated.
• Why did the lemon quit his job, because it was feeling sour about the working conditions and wanted to make a juice-y career change.
• The drink went to the doctor and said, doc I've been feeling a little bottled up and I need to unwind and let loose my emotions.
• Why did the bar goer bring a ladder to the pub, he heard the drinks were on the house and wanted to take advantage of the high spirits.
• What do you call a bartender who's always making jokes, a mixed martial artist with a punchline and a license to pour drinks all night long.
• The coffee and the tea got into a fight, because they were always brewing up trouble and had a latte resentment towards each other.
• Why did the bartender become a baker, because he kneaded the dough and wanted to make some bread-winning cocktails with a twist of citrus and a dash of fun.

Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram

Drinks puns can add a splash of fun to social media platforms like Instagram, where short, witty one-liners can gain a lot of traction.

Crafting jokes about the best puns for Instagram can be a creative challenge that blends humor with the world of beverages.

• I told my wife she was drawing her whiskey glass too big, and she said I was just bourbon to criticize.
• Why did the coffee file a police report, because it got mugged on Instagram.
• You're a-maize-ing, said the drink to the cornflakes in a corny Instagram post.
• Why did the bartender refuse to serve the rooster, because he was a little too chicken to handle a fowl mouth on social media.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on at a wine tasting event posted on Instagram, nothing, it just let out a little wine.
• Why did the Instagram influencer bring a ladder to the bar, to take their wine tasting to a higher level.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity on Instagram, it's impossible to put down, almost like a cold beer on a hot day.
• Why did the coffee go to therapy after being posted on Instagram, it was feeling a little jittery.
• What do you call a fake noodle on Instagram, an impasta, but what do you call a fake drink, a imbibe-stitution.
• Why did the beer go to the doctor after a night of selfies on Instagram, it was feeling a little flat.
• Why did the tea bag go to therapy after being posted on Instagram, it was feeling steeped in anxiety.
• What did the beach say when the tide came in with a cooler full of drinks and posted it on Instagram, long time no sea.
• I tried to catch some fish on Instagram with a drink in my hand, but I think I was just fishing for compliments.
• Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend before posting about it on Instagram, he needed space, and so did she, over a drink.
• What do you call a group of cows taking selfies with drinks on Instagram, a moo-dy photo shoot.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award for his drink recipe on Instagram, because he was outstanding in his field of cocktails.
• Why did the bicycle fall over on Instagram after having a few drinks, because it was two-tired.
• What do you call a bear with no socks on taking a drink selfie on Instagram, barefoot.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor after drinking too much on Instagram, he wasn't peeling well.
• Why did the mushroom get invited to all the drink parties on Instagram, because he's a fun-gi.
• Why did the cat join a band with a drink in its paw on Instagram, because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn't work on Instagram after trying to open a drink, a can't opener.
• I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person, I'm a whenever the coffee kicks in person, usually after posting on Instagram.
• Why did the rabbit go to the doctor after a night of drinking and posting on Instagram, to get some hare care.
• What did the drink say to the ice on Instagram, you're cool.
• Why did the computer go to the doctor after trying to order a drink online and posting about it on Instagram, it had a virus.
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school after learning about drinks on Instagram, he wanted to reach his full potential.
• What do you call a dog that does magic tricks with drinks on Instagram, a labracadabrador.
• Why did the baker go to the bank after posting about his drink recipe on Instagram, he needed dough.
• Why did the chicken go to the gym after drinking too much on Instagram, to get some egg-cellent abs.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes after drinking too much on Instagram, a fsh.
• Why did the turkey join the band after a night of drinking and posting on Instagram, he was a drumstick.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road after drinking too much on Instagram, it ran out of juice.
• Why did the kid put his homework in the freezer after learning about drinks on Instagram, he wanted to chill out.
• What do you call a fish that's an excellent listener after drinking too much on Instagram, a reel listener.
• Why did the math book look so sad after a night of drinking and posting on Instagram, because it had too many problems.
• Why did the computer screen go to the doctor after trying to order a drink online and posting about it on Instagram, it had a little glitch.
• What did the coffee file a police report for on Instagram, it got mugged.

Conclusion

You've got a thirst for humor and now you're all set! With these 73+ clever drinks puns, you'll be the life of the party. Use them in social media posts, conversations, or gatherings – they're sure to quench everyone's thirst for fun. You'll be brewing up laughs in no time, so go ahead and pour yourself a cup of puns!