103 Funny Jokes and One-Liners: Hilarious!

Get ready to laugh out loud with our collection of 103 funny jokes and one-liners! These jokes are about animals, food, and everyday life, and they're actually hilarious. You'll find puns that will make you giggle and smile.

Do you like jokes about scarecrows or mushrooms? Our jokes are simple and easy to understand, so everyone can enjoy them. Whether you're a kid or a grown-up, you'll have a blast reading our funny jokes and one-liners!

Best Puns & Jokes

Puns and jokes have been a staple of comedy for centuries, providing a lighthearted way to poke fun at everyday situations and the people in them.

From clever wordplay to ridiculous situations, a well-crafted joke can bring people together and create a sense of community through shared laughter.

The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field of puns and jokes.

Why don't eggs tell jokes, they'd crack each other up with their egg-cellent puns.

What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta joke that's pretty saucy.

Why did the bicycle fall over, because it was two-tired of all the bike puns and jokes.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised by my joke.

Why don't scientists trust atoms, because they make up everything and that's no joke.

Why don't lobsters share, because they're shellfish and don't like crabby jokes.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work, a can't opener that's a real joke.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down and that's no joke.

Why did the baker go to the bank, he needed dough and that's the yeast of his jokes.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he's a fun-gi and a jokester.

Why did the pencil break up with the eraser, it was a sharp move and a funny joke.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band with udderly ridiculous jokes.

Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn't peeling well and that's a joke.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend, he needed space and a galaxy of jokes.

What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot and a grizzly joke.

Why did the computer go to the doctor, it had a virus and a joke that was going viral.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school, he wanted to reach his full potential and make a high joke.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador with paws-itive jokes.

Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, he'd hare-loss and a joke that was hare-brained.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue, he drank his coffee before it was cool and that's a joke.

What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh and a joke that's off the hook.

Why did the cat join a band, because he wanted to be the purr-cussionist and make some mew-sical jokes.

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, it ran out of juice and that's a joke.

What do you call a fish with a sunburn, a star-fish and a joke that's fin-tastic.

Why did the kid become a baker, because he kneaded the dough and loved making joke-filled bread.

Why did the potato go to the party, because he was a spud-tacular dancer and a jokester.

What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef and a joke that's udderly ridiculous.

Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick and loved making fowl jokes.

Why did the pencil go to the party, because it was a sharp dresser and a joke writer.

What do you call a cat that's a good listener, a purr-fect counselor with whisker-ific jokes.

Why did the computer screen go to the doctor, it had a little glitch and a joke that was pixel-fect.

Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road, it ran out of juice and that's a sour joke.

What do you call a dog that goes to the vet, a paws-itive patient with dog-gone jokes.

Why did the chicken go to the gym, to get some egg-cellent abs and make some fowl jokes.

Why did the apple join the gym, to get some core strength and make some fruit-filled jokes.

What do you call a group of chickens playing instruments, a fowl orchestra with egg-cellent jokes.

Why did the kid bring his dog to school, for a paws-itive learning experience and some dog-gone jokes.

Why did the banana go to the doctor, because he wasn't peeling well and needed a fruit-ful joke.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador with paws-itively magical jokes.

Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field of joke-making.

Why did the cat take a selfie, to capture its purr-fect side and make some mew-sical jokes.

What do you call a bear that likes to read, a grizzly bookworm with un-bear-ievable jokes.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he's a fun-gi and a fun-guy with jokes.

Why did the computer go on a diet, to lose some bytes and make some byte-sized jokes.

What do you call a dog that's a great dancer, a paw-fect dancer with dog-gone good jokes.

Why did the orange juice carton go to therapy, it was feeling crushed and needed a juice-y joke.

Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, he'd hare-loss and needed a joke that was hare-brained.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band with udderly ridiculous jokes.

Why did the egg go to therapy, it was cracking under the pressure and needed an egg-cellent joke.

Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick and loved making fowl jokes.

What do you call a cat that's a great listener, a purr-fect counselor with whisker-ific jokes.

Why did the lemon quit his job, it was feeling sour and needed a juice-y joke.

Why did the banana split, because it wasn't peeling well and needed a fruit-ful joke.

What do you call a dog that's a great singer, a howl-ywood star with dog

Funny One-Liners & Wordplay

Funny one-liners and wordplay are a staple of comedy, often providing humor through clever turns of phrase or unexpected twists on familiar expressions.

From witty remarks to clever puns, these forms of humor rely on the quick mental processing of language to create a comedic effect, making them a fascinating and entertaining aspect of linguistic creativity.

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
• Why don't scientists trust atoms, because they make up everything.
• Why don't eggs tell jokes, they'd crack each other up.
• Why did the tomato turn red, because it saw the salad dressing.
• What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field.
• Why don't lobsters share, because they're shellfish.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn't work, a can't opener.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down.
• Why did the bicycle fall over, because it was two-tired.
• Why did the chicken go to the doctor, it had fowl breath.
• Why did the baker go to the bank, he needed dough.
• Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he's a fun-gi.
• Why did the pencil break up with the eraser, it was a sharp move.
• What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn't peeling well.
• Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend, because he needed space.
• What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot.
• Why did the computer go to the doctor, it had a virus.
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school, he wanted to reach his full potential.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, because it ran out of juice.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh.
• Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick.
• Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, he'd hare loss.
• Why did the kid become a baker, because he kneaded the dough.
• Why did the potato go to the party, because it was a spud-tacular event.
• What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador.
• Why did the egg go to therapy, it was cracking under the pressure.
• Why did the cat join a band, because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.
• Why did the lemon quit his job, because it was feeling sour.
• Why did the kid bring a magnet to school, he wanted to attract attention.
• What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef.
• Why did the bubble go to the party, because it was a blowout.
• Why did the kid become a master baker, because he was great at egg-ecution.
• Why did the chicken go to the gym, to get some egg-cellent abs.
• What do you call a fish that's an excellent listener, a reel good listener.
• Why did the coffee file a police report, because it got mugged.
• Why did the computer screen go to the doctor, it had a pixel-ated vision.

Top Witty Puns

The world of witty puns is a delightful place where words come alive to create humor.

From clever twists on everyday phrases to jokes that play on multiple meanings, witty puns can bring laughter and joy to those who hear them, and here are some examples:

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, and she looked surprised.
• Why don't scientists trust atoms, because they make up everything.
• Why don't eggs tell jokes, they'd crack each other up.
• Why did the tomato turn red, because it saw the salad dressing.
• What do you call a fake noodle, an impasta.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award, because he was outstanding in his field.
• Why don't lobsters share, because they're shellfish.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn't work, a can't opener.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down.
• Why did the bicycle fall over, because it was two-tired.
• Why did the chicken go to the doctor, it had fowl breath.
• What do you call a bear with no socks on, barefoot.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor, he wasn't peeling well.
• Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties, because he's a fun-gi.
• Why did the cat join a band, because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.
• What do you call a group of cows playing instruments, a moo-sical band.
• Why did the baker go to the bank, he needed dough.
• Why did the computer go to the doctor, it had a virus.
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school, he wanted to reach his full potential.
• What do you call a dog that does magic tricks, a labracadabrador.
• Why did the rabbit go to the doctor, he'd hare loss.
• Why did the hipster burn his tongue, he drank his coffee before it was cool.
• Why did the cat take a selfie, to capture its purr-fect side.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road, it ran out of juice.
• Why did the kid become a baker, because he kneaded the dough.
• Why did the turkey join the band, he was a drumstick.
• What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef.
• Why did the pencil break up with the eraser, it was a sharp move.
• Why did the lemon quit his job, it was feeling sour.
• Why did the apple join the gym, to get some core strength.
• Why did the chicken go to the gym, to get some egg-cellent abs.
• What do you call a pig that does karate, a pork-chop.
• Why did the coffee file a police report, it got mugged.
• Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend, he needed space.
• Why did the rabbit go to the gym, to get some paws-itive reinforcement.
• What do you call a dog that's a good listener, a retriever.

Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram

The world of Instagram is filled with countless opportunities for humor, and jokes about this platform can range from clever observations to ridiculous puns.

From memes to hashtags, there's no shortage of material for comedians and social media enthusiasts alike to tap into for laughter and entertainment, and here are some examples:

• I told my wife she was drawing her Instagram selfies with too much eyeliner, and she said I was just jealous of her power lines.
• Why did the Instagram influencer bring a ladder to the party, because she wanted to take her followers to new heights.
• What did the Instagram filter say to the selfie, you're always so filtered in your responses.
• I'm reading a book on Instagram marketing, but it's all just a bunch of posts.
• Why do Instagram users make great partners, because they're always willing to filter out the bad.
• Why did the Instagram user's phone go to therapy, it had a lot of hang-ups and was feeling a little glitchy.
• What do you call an Instagram user who doesn't post for a week, a rebel without a cause or a post.
• Why did the egg go viral on Instagram, because it was an egg-cellent piece of content.
• I tried to start an Instagram account for my cat, but it was a purr-manent failure.
• Why do I love Instagram, because it's the perfect platform for me to express myself and get a paws-itive response.
• What did the Instagram algorithm say to the user, you're always trying to cheat the system.
• Why was the Instagram user's account suspended, it kept posting fake news and got fact-checked.
• Why do I love using Instagram stories, because they're the perfect way to share my thoughts and then ghost them.
• What do you call an Instagram post that's really popular, a trend-setter or a post-apocalyptic success.
• I tried to make my Instagram profile more interesting, so I added a bio that said I was a professional snail trainer.
• Why did the Instagram user become a baker, because he kneaded the dough and wanted to make some bread.
• What do you call a group of Instagram users who love baking, the loaf gang or the bread winners.
• Why was the Instagram user's password reset, because it was too weak and got crumby.
• Why did the Instagram user go to the doctor, he was feeling a little flat and needed a boost.
• What did the doctor say to the Instagram user, you're just experiencing a little downtime, it's not the end of the world.
• Why do Instagram users love coffee, because it's the perfect way to buzz through their feeds.
• I tried to start a Instagram live stream, but it was a total fail, I just ended up streaming my cat sleep.
• What do you call an Instagram user who loves to travel, a globe-trotter or a post-card sender.
• Why did the Instagram user bring a magnet to the party, because he wanted to attract some attention.
• Why do Instagram users love dogs, because they're paws-itive and always licking their screens.
• What did the Instagram user say when his phone died, I'm having a meltdowns and a dead battery.
• Why was the Instagram user's account terminated, he kept violating the terms of service and got served.
• Why did the Instagram user become a chef, because he loved cooking up some drama and serving it with a side of likes.
• What do you call an Instagram user who loves fashion, a trend-setter or a clothes-horse.
• I tried to take a selfie for Instagram, but it was a total fail, I ended up with a photo of my thumb.
• Why did the Instagram user go to the gym, to get some gains and a six-pack of likes.
• What did the Instagram user say when he ran out of storage, I'm having a storage-ge crisis and need to delete some memories.
• Why do Instagram users love autumn, because it's the perfect season to fall in love with some new content.
• Why was the Instagram user's post deleted, it was a total scam and got flagged.
• What do you call an Instagram user who loves music, a melody-maker or a beat-dropper.
• I tried to start an Instagram challenge, but it was a total fail, nobody participated and it was a solo act.
• Why did the Instagram user become a teacher, because he loved educating his followers and grading their posts.
• What did the Instagram user say when he got a new phone, I'm upgrading my life and my selfie game.
• Why do Instagram users love summer, because it's the perfect season to heat up their feeds and get some sun-kissed likes.
• Why was the Instagram user's account hacked, because he used a weak password and got cracked.
• What do you call an Instagram user who loves art, a creative genius or a pixel-perfect artist.
• I tried to take a photo of my food for Instagram, but it was a total fail, I ended up with a photo of my plate.
• Why did the Instagram user go to the park, to get some fresh air and a green screen.
• What did the Instagram user say when he got bored, I'm experiencing a little downtime and need to scroll through my feeds.
• Why do Instagram users love winter, because it's the perfect season to chill and get some frosty likes.

Conclusion

You've made it through the jokes, congrats! Now, go forth and pun-ify your Instagram with these hilarious one-liners – your followers will either love you or block you, either way, it's a win! Share away and don't forget to laugh at your own jokes, we won't judge (much).